113 – Hatred is the sign of a secret attraction that is eager to flee from itself and furious to deny its own existence. That too is God’s play in His creature.
114 – Selfishness is the only sin,meanness the only vice, hatred the only criminality. All else can easily be turned into good, but these are obstinate resisters of deity.
This corresponds to a kind of vibration—the vibration received from people who hate. It is a vibration that is fundamentally the same, so to say, as the vibration of love. In its very depths there is the same sensation. Although on the surface it is the opposite, it is supported by the same vibration. And one could say that one is the slave of what one hates just as much as of what one loves, perhaps even more so. It is something that grips you, that haunts you, and which you cherish; a sensation you cherish, for underneath its violence there is a warmth of attraction which is just as great as the warmth you feel for what you love. And it seems that this distortion in the appearance only exists in the activity of the manifestation, that is, entirely on the surface.
One is obsessed by what one hates even more than by what one loves. And the obsession comes from this inner vibration.
All these “feelings”—what to call them?—have a mode of vibration, with something very essential at the core, and covering layers, as it were. And themost central vibration is the same, and as it expands to express itself, it becomes distorted.With love, it is quite obvious; it becomes, outwardly, in the vast majority of cases, something whose nature is quite different from the inner vibration, because it is something that withdraws into itself, shrivels up and wants to draw things towards itself in an egoistic movement of possession. You want to be loved. You say, “I love that person,” but at the same time there is what you want; the feeling is lived as, “I want to be loved.” And so this distortion is almost as great as the distortion of hatred which consists in wanting to destroy what you love in order not to be bound by it. Because you cannot obtain what you want from the object of your love, you want to destroy it in order to become free; in the other case, you shrivel up almost in an inner rage, because you cannot obtain, you cannot absorb what you love. And truly speaking (laughing), from the standpoint of the deeper truth, there is not much difference!
It is only when the central vibration remains pure and expresses itself in its initial purity, which is an unfolding—what to call it?... it is something that radiates, a vibration that spreads out in splendour; and it is a blossoming, yes, a radiant blossoming— then it remains true. And materially, this is translated as self-giving, self-forgetfulness, generosity of soul. And that is the only true movement. But what is usually called “love” is as far removed from the central vibration of true Love as hatred; only, one withdraws, shrivels up and hardens, and the other strikes. This is what makes all the difference.
And it is not seen with ideas, it is seen with vibrations. It is very interesting.
In fact I have had to study this a great deal recently. I have had the opportunity to see these vibrations. The external results may be deplorable, from the practical point of view they may be dreadful; that is to say, this kind of vibration encourages the urge to harm, to destroy; but from the standpoint of the deeper truth, this distortion is not much greater than the other, it is only of a more aggressive nature—and even then...
If one pursues this experience further and deeper, if one concentrates on this vibration, one realises that it is the initial vibration of creation, the vibration which has been altered, distorted in all that exists. And then there is a kind of allembracing warmth—one cannot call it exactly a “sweetness”, but it is a kind of strong sweetness—an all-embracing warmth in which there is as much smile as sadness—much more smile than sadness....
This does not justify the distortion, but it is above all a reaction to the choice that the human mentality—especially the human morality—has made between one kind of distortion and another. There is a whole series of distortions that have been labelled “bad” and there is a whole series of distortions towards which people are full of indulgence, almost compliments. And yet from the essential point of view these distortions are not much better than the others—it is a matter of choice.
In fact, one should first perceive the central vibration and then appreciate its unique and wonderful quality so much that one would automatically and spontaneously avoid all distortions, whatever they may be, the virtuous as well as the vicious.
We always come back to the same thing, there is only one solution: to attain the truth of things and cling to it—this essential truth, the truth of essential Love—and cling to it.
25 December 1965